“Due to my often outgoing, humorous, and personable behavior in conjunction with my very guarded nature, many people do not realize that I have actually suffered from severe depression and anxiety over the past few years.
Like many others, I have experienced mental health so uncontrollable that it led to suicidal thoughts. I have had my mental illness belittled over and over again. I have endured many exhausting doctors appointments, therapists, etc. trying to manage it. My grades have suffered, my personal life, etc. Mental illness is real, IT IS AN EPIDEMIC, especially in middle schools, high schools, college campuses, within minorities and oppressed groups, just in general. No one person’s experience with mental illness is the same, however more people are affected than expressed. In my experience, because of this I felt totally alone, like no one would understand what I was going through, but I discovered quite the opposite. Quite frankly, sometimes I think the mental health epidemic has gotten so severe due to the way it is viewed and handled in society. We are “crazy, insane, too emotional, lazy” as if it is something that we can control. The truth is, it is not something we can control, much like physical illnesses.
During my darkest moments, I turned to things that would help me, notably music and the organization To Write Love on Her Arms, who I had a potential opportunity to intern for this summer, but it fell through. However, the thing that helped me through the most was the thought of my sister, and what her life would be like if I wasn’t there for her. I held this thought with me, and as I grew I had discussions with many other people who suffer from mental illnesses, and they too shared with me their stories, and how that one person, pet, mentor, friend, neighbor, etc. and the thought of them saved their life. I have also known people who have taken their own lives, and I wonder, had they known the effect their absence would have caused, would the circumstances have been different?
I am tired of society undermining mental illness, for it hinders people from sharing their own stories and helping the countless number of people around them who are just looking for someone to help them.
So, I hope to do just that. I want to start speaking out, I want to share my story, I want people to find that one person, and say “because of you, I am still here.” Because of my sister, I am still here. I am still here, because of you.”
-Kerin Maguire 06/04/2016
Because Of You 